Mendanghudui (China)

Mendanghudui 🇨🇳
Location: China
Definition: Lit. "marriage of the matching doors", is the practice of pairing couples based on similar social and educational backgrounds
Keywords: China – East Asia – Marriage – Wedding – Elite – Family – Sexuality – Gender
Author: Shiqi Yin
Affiliation: Alumna, School of Slavonic and East European Studies, University College London, UK

By Shiqi Yin, Alumna, School of Slavonic and East European Studies, University College London, UK

Mén dāng hù duì (门当户对) is a Chinese idiom, which means that families of the bride and groom have similar social and economic status. The phrase can be translated to English, as "marriage of the matching doors" (Hu 2016), or a "good match". It expresses a traditional Chinese perception of what good marriage is about, and it is viewed as a rule for choosing a marital partner. Although many young people in China, especially those with higher education living in large cities, regard it as a feudal idea, many still get married on the basis of mendanghudui (Tian 2017).

The term has a long history in China. Mendang and Hudui are integral parts of the ancient Chinese courtyard’s gate architecture. The Mendang is a pair of stone drums in front of the main gate, which are said to ward off evil spirits (Wang 2020); the Hudui are carved decorations on both sides of the door. This style of gate can still be seen in many parts of rural China today. Decorations on such gates are symbolic representations of the owner’s status, economic power, and identity.

The reasons for the longevity of mendanghudui in Chinese society are complex. One is related to the central role of the family in the accumulation of wealth and influence. Marriage in China is not simply the union of two people but also the integration of two families. As a result, marriage is used as a method of combining two large families, expanding each other's power, sharing social resources, blessings, and hardships (Gao 2017). The mendanghuidui marriage can also be seen as a way of extending and securing "guanxi" (literally means "relationship" or "connection") which is a prominent feature of Chinese society. Within "guanxi" people help their family members or even cover up for them. What is more, relatives of one’s wife or husband or even relatives of one’s children’s wives or husbands are regarded as close and would be looked after.

In ancient China, the political status of the father determined the place of the entire family in the social hierarchy, which was more important than economic power (Tian 2017). However, as society changed, the importance of economic power increased significantly. Additionally, since the transition that started in the 1980s, the requirements of mendanghudui have taken on some new dimensions, with education becoming an important factor. Since the 1980s, China has been experiencing an increase in social and geographical mobility, individualistic attitudes, and a decline in the importance of the social economy based on family (Li 2008).

However, another reason for following the rule of mendanghudui is that it can reduce the amount of time people spend looking for a partner. In the past, young people had to listen to their parents when choosing whom to marry. Parents' pool of potential matches was mostly people around them or the hongniang (professional matchmakers, traditionally women). Nowadays, there are many dating websites or special apps available, but the information one receives in the search for a mate is limited and getting to know someone well requires a lot of time and effort. The mendanghudui criterion reduces this time. Most people believe that similar family backgrounds and education levels determine whether the basic profiles of two parties are similar, and from that compatibility of interests and personality traits can be inferred.

Indeed, wealth is not the only factor in mendanghudui considerations, because it implies that both parties grew up in a similar environment and share a similar view of the world. There is a close relationship between the worldview and the family background (Kang and Li 2016). As Fei (1999), a Chinese sociologist, puts it: "a high degree of agreement is not easy to obtain, and can only be obtained through similar education and life experiences". It is common sense in Chinese society that people with similar family backgrounds have similar experiences and understanding of the world. For example, they tend to agree about consumer choices and lifestyle, they are similar in their appreciation of culture, and they can better understand each other in family life, which ensures the enjoyment of marriage and contributes to its stability (Tian 2017).

Yet, mendanghudui can increase materialistic attitudes and deepen class divisions in society. In choosing a spouse for oneself or for one’s children, a person might become most concerned with the potential spouse’s family background and financial situation. In the long run, this may have a negative impact on society as people would start to measure their happiness in terms of money. The poorer partner may be criticized as vain or marrying for money rather than love. There is another relevant phenomenon in China named erdai(the second generation), where fuerdai, the "rich second generation" refers to the younger generation who inherit their parents' wealth, whereas guanerdai means that both the younger generation and their elders are working in politics. Erdai is often evidence of the tendency of social interests to consolidate (Yang 2014). Marriages based on mendanghudui also imply that these erdai combine, monopolise resources, and form social barriers.

The study of this informal practice is not unique to China but in academic circles is more commonly referred to as assortative mating. Gale and Shapley (1962) were the first to identify a stable marriage matching mechanism in the marriage market from a mathematical and game theory perspective and proposed their Gale-Shapley algorithm as a model. After that, Becker (1973; 1974) introduced an economic model of marriage matching. There is a large body of empirical research that analyses the marriage market in terms of age, social status, occupation, education, and economic status. (Burgess et al. 1943; Becker 1974). Academics in this field divide marriage matches into homogamy-matching (a concept similar to mendanghudui) and gradient matching, which suggests that people are more likely to choose a partner with a better career and education than theirs.

Marriage may appear as a choice based solely on one's own will, but it is often tied to many factors including relations and resources. To a certain extent, mendanghudui is useful because it can work as guidance and a standard for finding a partner, but for some, it serves the purpose of consolidating business and social position. Even those who do not worry about money may choose a mendanghudui marriage because they believe that people with similar backgrounds share similar experiences, interests, and lifestyles. Yet, the practice easily reinforces money worship, resource monopolisation, and class divisions.

References

Becker, G.S. 1973. “A Theory of Marriage: Part I”. The Journal of political economy, 82(2): 11–26

Becker, G.S. 1974. “A Theory of Marriage: Part II”. The Journal of political economy, 82(2): 11–S26

Burgess, E.W. and Wallin, P. 1943. “Homogamy in Social Characteristics”. The American journal of sociology, 49(2): 109–124

Fei X. 1999. From the soil: the foundations of Chinese society. Beijing: Peking University Press

Gale, D. and Shapley, L.S. 2013. “College Admissions and the Stability of Marriage”, The American mathematical monthly 120(5): 386–391

Gao, X. 2017. “The traditional Chinese concept of marriage: "Mendanghudui"”, Culture Journal (07): 39-41

Hu, Y. 2016. “Marriage of matching doors”. Demographic research 35: 557–580

Kang, Y. and Li Y. 2016. “Exploring the relationship between inheriting good family traditions and establishing correct ‘three views’”, Innovation and Entrepreneurship Education 7(02): 151-154

Li, Y. 2008. “Educational matching in marriage: Changes over 50 years”. Chinese Population Science (3): 73-79

Tian, Y. 2017. “A study on the sociological basis of ‘door-to-door matching’”. Talent (33): 234-236

Wang, F. 2020. “The origins of the phrase ‘Mendanghudui’”. The World of Literature and History, 2(06): 92

Yang, W. 2014. “Exploring the consolidation of social classes in China during the transition period”. Party School of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China